I’m currently reading Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates. It’s a harrowing exploration of the misogynist online “manosphere” and its offline counterparts. I can’t imagine dong the research for this one, spending hours on incel and pickup artist websites, hiding behind a male alias. (Blogger Dave Futrelle used to regularly monitor these sites and mock them in “We Hunted the Mammoth,” but finally had to step away, finding it too relentlessly depressing.)
The incel sites, in particular, are incredibly nihilistic. Guys will openly fantasize about suicide and encourage each other to do it — side by side with fantasies of violence and cruelty toward women. (For anyone not familiar with this stuff: “incel” is short for “involuntarily celibate.” These are guys who are furious that women are allowed to reject them, and they alternate between self-pity and frothing rage.) It’s easy to see how a guy who’s had bad luck with dating might wander onto one of these sites and feel like he’s found a community with guys reassuring him that it’s not you, it’s women. Combine that with patriarchy’s endless messages that he’s entitled to women’s attention and obedience, and he becomes radicalized.
The book addresses the whole rogues’ gallery: “men’s rights” activists, online trolls, and Men Going Their Own Way — who, strangely, never seem to go away. The author also notes that there’s a legit men’s movement that actually addresses issues that affect men, such as the stigma around seeking help for mental health. Unfortunately, the “manosphere” has too many men whose only interest in such issues is to use them as a rhetorical club to derail any discussion of sexism.
There have always been men who hate women, but social media has made it easier for them to recruit men and adolescent boys — and even preteens. And not coincidentally, Laura Bates has been harassed and threatened for addressing it. The book is a grim read, but it’s important to know what we’re up against.
As always, WOW is a group effort. Thanks to elenacarlena, mettle fatigue, and the WOW crew for links and discussion.